“What Marks and Defines You? Your social status? Your family relationships? Your career or ministry?

Some circumstances and events can permanently brand our lives. They are moments that can deepen our character.

Crystal Woodman Miller is a young woman whose life was forever changed by the tragic events at Columbine high School in 1999 – seven eternal minutes that served as the ultimate wake-up call. And in the aftermath of tragedy, Crystal found herself at a crossroad of fear and faith.”

Excerpts From The Book

“What just happened? Wasn’t it just a few minutes ago that I was suffocated by smoke and jolted by blaring fire alarms, whizzing bullets and friends’ shrieks of terror?  Were there or were there not kids running and stumbling over each other while guys were shooting at them?  Weren’t teachers barking orders at us?  Weren’t SWAT team members peppering the school with return fire?  Didn’t my entire life pass before my eyes underneath that stupid table?”

“All I knew was that for now, all was still.  And all was lost.  I tried desperately to wrap my mind around the magnitude of what had just happened.  Protection was gone.  I was terrified to be alone and found myself spinning slowly in place, making circles on that field, my neck jerking ahead of my body with each revolution as I heard the distant pop-pop-pop of ongoing gunfire.  Laughter was gone.  My trembling lips, wet with teas and numb from shock, would surely never smile again.  Optimism was gone.  Who wanted to live in a world where this sort of catastrophe could happen?  There was no point in having a positive attitude.  Hope was just a pipe dream – a useless way to spend my energy. 

And my future was certainly gone.  How would I move on from this?  I stood on that little patch of overgrown field, isolated and shivering in my damp, blood-splattered clothes, no possessions with me.  No people by my side, and was kept company by a single thought: My life will never, ever be the same.”

There were many times I wished I’d also been killed so that I wouldn’t have to experience the unbearable pain of living during those days.  I would walk through the following minutes, days, weeks and months with the despairing refrain of Why, God why? Echoing in my mind.  As time marched on, Ii grew to loathe the confusion, the senselessness, the disruption of the far less wobbly life I once knew.  There seemed to be no relief from the paralysis caused by horrifying memories, answerless questions, and the never-ending chaos that surrounded me.  Then there were other times when I was solidly overjoyed that I had escaped the library that day, my body in one piece.  It was as if I was becoming a walking-talking paradox.”

“I felt like I had been dropped in a dense forest, the sunset making the shadows long and the path difficult to see.  I would catch sight of a minute morsel, a little crumb of clarity on the ground at my feet.  And so I would walk that way for a few steps until I would get disoriented again.  I’d peek down at my shoes, hoping for another clarity crumb, and sure enough, there it would sit.  Nothing grand.  No neon lights of voices from heaven or wild supernatural tugs in one direction or another.  Just a dose of understanding and revelation that would be enough to prompt me to put one foot in front of the other for one more minutes, hour, day, week.

Although I couldn’t makes sense of everything that had happened in my life so far, I began to realize that nervously glancing in the rearview mirror would never heal me.  No, the greatest aid would be gazing into the horizon that was waving me toward itself though my windshield.  Until that point, my neck had been craned around, looking behind me for so long that I didn’t realize anything even existed in front of my face.  But suddenly, I realized that hope was what I was catching glimmers of up ahead, and I could choose its healing power if I so desired.

There is no doubt whatsoever that we are broken people living in a broken world.  The proof may be in an angry teenager with a pistol or a religious radical with a bomb strapped to her chest or a drunk sitting behind the wheel of an out-of-control car.  It may be an abusive father or an unfaithful spouse or an unreasonable boss or a friend who betrays you.  It may look like the death of a dream, the death of a loved one, the death of a pet.  But we all have experienced suffering and trials and disappointments that forever mark us.  Maybe they differ in severity or impact, but they still exist- on an ongoing and relative basis- for everyone.


What Others Have To Say
“I have seen that hope confirmed again and again in life and testimony of Crystal Woodman Miller.”- Franklin Graham
“Great differences in language and culture stand between Crystal and the young victims of war, poverty, and disaster to whom she ministers, yet she has a remarkable ability to tap into the pain of her own tragic experience to bridge the gaps.” – Franklin Graham
“Crystal has truly turned her tragedy into triumph. She is an inspiration to many who have been touched by the darkness this world holds, and she encourages her readers to seek the hope that a relationship with Christ will impart”“Great differences in language and culture stand between Crystal and the young victims of war, poverty, and disaster to whom she ministers, yet she has a remarkable ability to tap into the pain of her own tragic experience to bridge the gaps.” – Franklin Graham
-Misty and Brad Bernall, parents of Cassie Bernall and authors of the New York Times best seller She Said Yes: The Unlikely Martydom of Cassie Bernall
“Crystal Woodman Miller brings a maturity beyond her years to one of the most complex questions of the Christian Life – how do we respond to the devastation and loss foisted upon us by suffering and evil? What she delivers is honest, poignant, and hope-filled encouragement to find purpose in overwhelming pain. This is an important book that captures her story and the stories of others who learned the painful but reliable lesson to trust in the God of all mercy.”
-Dr. Wess Stafford, president of Compassion International
Hope beckons us to a bright future by constantly reminding us that there is always more.  In choosing hope, a person chooses to live- chooses to pursue the truest meaning and purpose in life.  Hope says yes to a person’s every dream.  Hope awakens the desire to go, to do, to feel, to engage when giving up seems the only logical response.  Hope is the  path from the desert place to the rich, lush land of abundance.  Hope supplies courage to stay the course despite the insurmountable odds.  There is a motion to hope. Momentum. Forward-looking action.  But there is also stillness- a quiet intimacy- in hope.
“Crystal’s book is a powerful and honest testimony that pain can birth purpose and that triumph can emerge from tragedy.”
-Darrell Scott, speaker; author of Rachel’s Tears; father of Columbine victim Rachel Scott
“Crystal is in pursuit of God’s heart and all He has for her. I not only have been encouraged by her life but also am grateful that I have had the privilege to work alongside her, reaching out to high school students across the nation.”
-Bryan Olesen, member of the Newsboys; member of Casting Pearls
“Few books have drawn me in so quickly. In this intensely personal and beautiful story, Crystal vividly recounts one of the darkest days in American history and how God redeems all that is lost. You will not be the same after reading Marked For Life.”
-Danny Oertli, author/songwriter